Ways I Was the Ned Ryerson of This Accidental Hs Reunion at Duane Reade
I can't tell if this girl was having a bad day or if we were in some Cold War stand-off that I forgot about. Both/neither? Either way, I get points for tenaciousness/refusing to read social cues!
- •The total lack of affect when recognized."ASHLEY??! Hiiiii!" was met by a wary side-eye and cautious "Hey."
- •Pointed questions about which direction I was walking before making it clear she was going other way."Doesn't matter! I'll walk you there!" I said, the worst, before telling her to look out for that puddle, it's a doozie!
- •"Sorry, I must look disgusting," earned me another blank stare and then: "Yeah."
- •"I don't believe marriage will keep a person from cheating on you," she said, when asked if she was gonna tie the knot with her bf.No, I GET that it's an annoying question, especially coming from a married friend. But this was on the heels of discussing a mutual friend's upcoming wedding and felt particularly barbed.
- •"I'm talking about the Institution of Marriage, Drew, not the wedding itself."After I tried to pivot/relate with a joke about how they are a bitch to plan.
- •"I don't remember the part where you got lost in the Red Light District on Ecstasy," she said, "but I believe it. Sounds like you."Look, she's going back to Amsterdam and we once went there together, thought we could share some memories. She apparently disagreed.
- •"Should you be telling me about this?"Response to news that I ghostwrote my first book.
- •"I hope your work pays for you to go to LA so much."Uh....?
- •"Yeah, I would fire a person for that."Re: SuttonGate.
- •"I know, I follow you on FB."Repeated after every thing I offered up about my life.
- •"I'm fine."Repeated after every question I asked about hers.
- •"It's good you are going to the gym."The part where I got all 😦🔫 and finally left her alone.