Requested by Kevin Nunn

Top 5 Disney Channel Original Movies

  1. 1.
    Brink
    So much props for making roller blading look cool. Erik Von Detten got absolutely snubbed for an oscar here. I think we can all agree roller blading is not for the weak of heart.
  2. 2.
    Halloweentown
    Struggled with not putting this at 1. Always thought Marnie was an elite daughter and big sister. Dealing with all the weird bullshit in this film would be enough to make anyone crack. Having the whole family come together to defeat Kalabar is a story-book ending. Been too long since I've seen it. May ask Jenna if she wants to come over and watch.
  3. 3.
    Johnny Tsunami
    Considered putting Johnny Kapahala:Back on Board here instead but that was a stupid extreme sport. Surfing way cooler. Made me think long and hard who I'd rather have as a relative, Johnny Tsunami or Tito from Rocket Power. Both have supreme wisdom. But Tsunami's hair is sweet. Classic case of an ignorant dad coming to terms with his son loving something else. Well done Disney.
  4. 4.
    Smart House
    Been on a big horror movie binge as of late and not gonna lie, this shit gave me nightmares. Film starts out with a single dad (common Disney channel original movie theme) and you're thinking this house is the bomb. But then once it becomes a person it's so creepy. Brownie points for Disney making a realistic film for once. A house that becomes a mom.
  5. 5.
    Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
    If I was a girl in 1999, I'm being Zenon for Halloween. Try and stop me mom! Not only does she learn to integrate into a completely new culture (aka earth), she saves a space station from certain destruction. Only problem is Disney's expectations for the future. This movie takes place in 2049. Doubtful we'll have a whole society living in space by then. Alas, I digress. Wouldn't be upset seeing this at number 1 on another list.
  6. 6.
    Luck of the Irish
    Oh you thought the list ended at 5. Not so fast my friend. Too glorious of a topic to limit it to 5. A lot of people may say this is number 1. Playing in alternate dimensions was a lot to handle. Biggest takeaway here is I'm glad Deandre Jordan wasn't shooting that free throw.
  7. 7.
    Double Teamed
    Tall blonde twins. What a spectacle. Last scene rivals the end of rocky 3 when Apollo and Rocky punch each other in the face to a screenshot. Double Teamed ends with the twins in the wnba facing of for a jump ball. (Side note: wouldn't be surprised if the twins have been involved in some sort of porn since.)
  8. 8.
    Full-Court Miracle
    Disney loves basketball movies. This movie made me wish I was Jewish more than Ian Starr's rockin bar mitzvah in sixth grade. The lights stay on just long enough for that rag-tag group of yamaka wearing athletes to complete the comeback of the decade. Hands down the greatest Jewish basketball film of the last 30 years.
  9. 9.
    Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-off
    Surprise pick! Let me explain. Always thought this had great lessons for parents raising a gay child. Tons of symbolism. All his dad wants is to coach his baseball prodigy of a son. He finally comes to terms with the fact that Eddie only wants to cook. Biggest issue with the film is I'm not sure his dad should have been allowed to just jump into the Cookoff late to help.
  10. 10.
    The Thirteenth Year
    Not originally in my top ten, but the girl next to me in class (shout out!) is currently doodling a vivid picture of a mermaid so it must be a sign. What a crazy plot though! Kids turning into a damn mermaid. If Tarantino directs I bet Brad Pitt plays the main character and it at the minimum gets an oscar nomination.