1. French
    Stripes, beret, a certain je ne sais quoi...
  2. Italian
    Gelled hair, freshly-laundered tight-fitting tee or tank top, tight jeans. Or teased hair, a slinky short dress, astronomically high heels
  3. Ranch
    Fringe, leather, cowboy boots, assless chaps, dungarees, a sweat-stained bandana, plaid, a trusty equine companion
  4. Caesar
    A bed sheet, laurel crown, gold accessories, purple accents, knife wounds (multiple), a calendar with March 15th circled
  5. Russian
    Just don't do it - it's going to be sweltering in my apartment
  6. Thousand Island
    Hawaiian shirt, grass skirt, coconut bra, only slightly ironic "I'm here to get lei'd" shirt
  7. Blue Cheese
  8. Balsamic Vinaigrette
    Literally impossible