LIFE ISN'T A SPRINT IT'S A...

  1. Dash to the liquor store before it closes
  2. Out of breath hike up 4 flights of stairs
  3. A brisk jog to beat that bitch to the nearest taxi
  4. Quick dodge to avoid an acquaintance
  5. Haul ass to work because you slept in
  6. Reluctant march to a friend of a friends birthday party
  7. A meander to the fridge again to see if something tasty appeared in the last 5 minutes now that you've lowered your standards
  8. Sleepy shuffle to the bathroom in the middle of the night
  9. A deliberate saunter across the street to avoid the guy asking if you have a sec to talk about the environment
  10. Walk of shame to the same fast food place for the 4th day in a row
  11. Drunken stumble home from the bar