THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF PEOPLE I WOULD MARRY RIGHT NOW DESPITE HAVING NEVER MET THEM

  1. John Oliver
    Hi I love you a lot
  2. Michael Fassbender
    Hi I really love you
  3. Paul Rudd
    Hi I love you
  4. Jason Segel
    Hi I love you
  5. Stephen Colbert
    Hi I love you and I love your beard
  6. Rihanna
    Hi I love you
  7. J.J. Abrams
    Hi I love you