Breaking List: Things the Only Other Person at the Bar of This Lk Hopatcong, n.j. "Tavern" Is Saying

With replies from the bartender. (My face is buried in my phone until food comes, obvi) Please leave fan fiction/backstory ideas in comments; additional lines as Suggestions.
  1. I got someone pregnant. Expensive.
    Yep.
  2. What's the price difference between your bottles and drafts?
    Depends.
  3. This Blue Moon is good, I don't like heavy lagers.
    Lagers are light; ales are heavy.
  4. Update! Someone else just sat down... She ordered a tall vodka to get her through the next two hours of class, said she only got two hours of sleep, that she's going to die. To which the original guy said...
  5. You're not gonna die. Life's too good.
    Silence from all of us.
  6. To me: How's that dish? I ask cuz I'm a connoisseur on food.
    Me: Hmm? (Salting and peppering liberally) Yeah, good.
  7. Student left, came back and sat back down next to me. Her: Sorry, mixing restaurants. I like the diner's soup too much.
    Before I could swallow and reply, Bartender: "Whaddaya studyin'?"
  8. Her: Y'know what? I can't. I only got an hour of...
    (Beat) It's cool. Good to see you again.
  9. Her: Real estate.
    Bartender opens mouth to speak. Original guy: I know someone who did that program and is doin' good.
  10. Her: Scott, stop. Don't gimme that positive stuff.
    Scott: What, you're positive. (Pause) Most of you.