Ruminations on Wearing a Suit
I haven't had to wear a suit and tie on the regs for quite some time. So when I do, like today, a few thoughts run through my head. Fellas, you feel me?
- •I feel fat, but I look fly.Oof, a belt? At least this fabric drapes nicely over my bulgy bits.
- •The barista is looking at me with newfound respect.Or newfound disdain... I guess it depends on where I stop for coffee.
- •These shoes sound louder when I wear them with a suit.Like Clydesdale loud.
- •Why do I always remember to brush my teeth AFTER I put on the noose, I mean tie?Have tie, will dribble.
- •That time in law school when I told my dad I needed to buy a Brooks Brothers suit for interviews, and no other label would suffice.Ugh. What a tool I can be. If I were him, I'd make fun of me for that every chance I got.
- •Why is everyone on the sidewalk glancing at my crotch?Oh right, the tie is a giant arrow, pointing at it.
- •Does this backpack go with this suit?Of course not. But the sneakers and baseball cap for right after I finish this thing I wore the suit for, won't fit in the Jack Spade murse.
- •I should wear a suit everyday.Nah.