The first people I usually see after I leave my apartment
  1. The landlord's son-in-law
    As a subletter of the subletter of the tenant of record (New Yorkers, you feel me?), I try not to get into any conversation longer than "how's it goin'?" while he sorts the recyclables. He seems fine with that.
  2. The waitress at the "Alpine bbq" restaurant on the corner
    Most days, she looks like she regrets moving here. Other days, she looks almost happy. Almost.
  3. The staff at my local post office
    I avoid eye contact while I breeze in to check my PO box, because they have a game where they insult everyone they speak to.
  4. Donut guy
    His nametag says Sandr and he looks like he could be a model if he weren't working at Dunkin Donuts. He throws extra donut holes into my bag and has a nice smile. I wonder what he does for fun. Maybe next time I'll ask.
  5. Equinox front desk person
    Psych! I quit that place. ClassPass FTW y'all!