THINGS I CAN'T LIVE DOWN

Not comprehensive
  1. Didn't know who U2 was
  2. Put on my sunglasses while inside a dimly lit Panera Bread
  3. Wore socks with "sandals" (they were mules)
  4. Own a pair of shoes that one would refer to as mules
  5. Have strong opinions on pivot tables
  6. Used to drink exclusively vodka pineapples
  7. Ate a kale and spirulina muffin for dinner
  8. Know what spirulina is
  9. Considered purchasing $90 bath towels
  10. Have never had a milkshake
  11. Only eat the pink Starbursts
  12. Can't drive
  13. Make lists for fun