STAINS ON MY JEANS

I have a pair of jeans that have a various number of stains on them. Let's take a look at what those stains could be...shall we?
  1. 1.
    SUPER GLUE
    I one time super glued my hand to my pants.. How, you ask? GREAT question. I don't know. I accidentally tore some skin off my finger tips and there's super glue dots on the knee of my left leg. Don't trust super glue. Never trust super glue.
  2. 2.
    PENS
    A yellow gel pen exploded in my pocket so there's an awkward greenish/yellow glittery stain on my right back that kind of looks like I peed myself in one place.
  3. 3.
    BLOOD
    I had to give my cat a sedative so we could fly on a plane and she got scared and bit me and tore skin and I was bleeding but didn't want to draw attention to it but my hand wouldn't stop bleeding so I used my jeans and now there's a red blood stain on my right hip...its parallel to the yellow gel pen stain