PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES THAT MAKE ANIMALS CUTE BUT DON'T WORK FOR HUMANS

  1. freakishly severe overbite
  2. severe underbite
  3. vampire-esque toothed underbite
  4. missing eye
  5. smushed face
  6. tongue that's always hanging out
  7. drool
  8. lion-esque hairdo
  9. sweaters that are too small