Bios I would use on tinder that encapsulate the reasons I'm not on tinder

  1. Just lookin for someone to play Trivial pursuit with...
  2. Swiping right whilst keeping in mind Ted Bundy was good looking.
  3. Just a Diane looking for her Sam...(We don't have to end up together for it to be worthwhile!)
  4. There's a 95% chance I swiped you because I don't understand how this thing works.
  5. If you wanna talk Stephen Sondheim for 2.5 hours, hit me up.
  6. I respond well to proper grammar so please read over your messages.
  7. If you're nearby can you bring me a latte?
  8. Even if things don't work I'll knit you a real nice pair of socks.
  9. I'm a total prude but I watch HBO, so I know what's up.
  10. Don't judge me for the turtleneck, you're allowed to judge me for the mismatched socks.
  11. Just so you know I'll never love a man the way I love Roger Federer so there's really no pressure.
  12. If you've never seen Cheers and therefore did not understand the earlier reference, I'm really not interested.