Requested by @dirty
  1. New Year's Resolutions!
  2. You won a free set of ashtrays
  3. Lung cancer is trending
    It's the cool way to go out
  4. Everybody's doin' it
  5. Cigarettes are a perfect complement to daily energy drinks
  6. Your dad told you not to
  7. Life on Earth is best served short
  8. Post-workout for sex
  9. Flavors!
    Is that strawberry I smell?
  10. You were born with a chronic nicotine addiction
  11. Inhaling oxygen is soo 10,000 years ago
  12. You can't spell smoke without "ok"
  13. The girl you like smokes
  14. Free memberships to airport smoking facilities
  15. Conversation starters with other smokers
  16. You're a coal miner
  17. Smokey the Bear is your role model
  18. E-cigs are a gateway drug
  19. You're in the military
  20. The U.S. government could use the tax money
  21. You're more of an outdoors' person
  22. It'll cover up the bad B.O.
  23. You want your car to decrease in value
  24. Good networking opportunities
    Suggested by @patsim
  25. You have an excuse to leave the office for ten minutes every couple hours
    Suggested by @patsim
  26. Have an immediate in when meeting new people who smoke
    Hey can I bum a Cig? *instantly become best friends*
    Suggested by @stanleyrex21
  27. It's funny
    Suggested by @TrevorHarrigan
  28. Your life is a miserable joke and you need something to make you feel good, if only for a couple of minutes, just to get by.
    Suggested by @TrevorHarrigan
  29. You find yourself in a building that allows indoor smoking, which is way funnier than outdoor smoking, and you're a comedic opportunist
    Suggested by @TrevorHarrigan
  30. You are a pregnant scientist, unconvinced that smoking while pregnant leads to disorders, and want to hold an experiment of your own.
    Suggested by @TrevorHarrigan
  31. People make fun of you for vaping so you want to do the real thing for once
    Suggested by @dirty
  32. You want to see if Chantix really works
    Suggested by @dirty
  33. You are extremely religious and think your death date is predetermined, and you don't think that you can affect it in anyway.
    Suggested by @dirty