Greatest Fears Realized

The call is coming from inside the house. Or it's not. Whatever.
  1. The mute function on my phone doesn't work, and everyone has conspired to not tell me I am constantly embarrassing myself.
    This is the prank I would play on me if I didn't want to be my friend anymore.
  2. Finding myself in a room where everyone else has been to Burning Man.
    Needs no explanation. If you're reading this, you've likely been on one side of this experience or the other at least once.
  3. Every NYC subway car isn't just covered floor to ceiling with urine and feces like we all suspect but also with semen.
    Animal semen.
  4. Dad learns to use the Internet just enough to start sending Bitmoji every 20 minutes.
    Already happened. The. Living. Worst.
  5. Mom learns to use the Internet, converts and uploads old childhood videos, and I become the new light saber kid.
    No comment.
  6. The minibar isn't included in the all-inclusive resort vacation.
    Because reasons.
  7. I'm the only one at the concert who can't name that tune by the end of it.
    Consistently happens at Phish shows, even though I've been going for 10 years.
  8. Could have been using the force this whole time.
    Blessing in disguise. Probably would've joined the dark side.
  9. When I construct an elaborate hate fantasy about some annoying person in front of me in line for several minutes and they turn out to be delightful.
    Would happen once a week if more people were delightful.
  10. That all I had to say was nothing.
    Literally. Nothing. And there wouldn't have been a problem at all.