h/t Robert Durst
  1. Move to Galveston, Texas.
  2. Become a cross-dressing landlord, like in a wacky sitcom.
  3. Chop up your neighbor and throw him in a river.
  4. Go to Central Pennsylvania and steal a chicken sandwich.
  5. Go to a CVS in Houston and pee on the candy.
  6. Confess on television.