Funny Things to Ponder, Annotated

This is the first time I've read one of these chain emails since 2001.
  1. ā€¢
    "Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?"
    This is easy. It's just our name for the federal highway system. Any major highway at least 90% federally funded is an "interstate."
  2. ā€¢
    "Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?"
    Seriously? This is also pretty easy. They're both idioms. The former is sarcastic.
  3. ā€¢
    "Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?"
    I dunno, why do we spend our short lives being inexplicably cruel to one another?
  4. ā€¢
    "Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?"
    It is. "PH" makes that sound. Our alphabet is highly logographic. And all language is to some extent arbitrary.
  5. ā€¢
    "Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?"
    I'm going to guess it has something to do with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.
  6. ā€¢
    "Why isn't palindrome spelled the same backwards as it is forward."
    A thing does not need to exhibit the trait described in order to describe that trait.
  7. ā€¢
    "What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?"
    Sheep aren't sentient.
  8. ā€¢
    "If corn oil comes from corn then where does baby oil come from?"
    This took me 2 seconds to look up. Petroleum and related byproducts.
  9. ā€¢
    "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
    Barbie is a commodity. Commodities do not have "friends" in the same way people do. Maybe you should brush up on your Marx.
  10. ā€¢
    "If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?"
    No. That's two courses.
  11. ā€¢
    "Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?"
    Sure, if you are trying to shoot him quietly they die just like any other human I'm not sure what the controversy is here.
  12. ā€¢
    "If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?"
    No, they are unrelated words.
  13. ā€¢
    "Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"
    No. Again, language is arbitrary.
  14. ā€¢
    "If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?"
    That would be a tragedy.
  15. ā€¢
    "If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?"
    I refer you, again, to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.
  16. ā€¢
    "If you wore antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?"
    Okay, you got me. This one is pretty good. šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘