Funny Things to Ponder, Annotated
This is the first time I've read one of these chain emails since 2001.
- •"Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?"This is easy. It's just our name for the federal highway system. Any major highway at least 90% federally funded is an "interstate."
- •"Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?"Seriously? This is also pretty easy. They're both idioms. The former is sarcastic.
- •"Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?"I dunno, why do we spend our short lives being inexplicably cruel to one another?
- •"Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?"It is. "PH" makes that sound. Our alphabet is highly logographic. And all language is to some extent arbitrary.
- •"Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?"I'm going to guess it has something to do with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.
- •"Why isn't palindrome spelled the same backwards as it is forward."A thing does not need to exhibit the trait described in order to describe that trait.
- •"What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?"Sheep aren't sentient.
- •"If corn oil comes from corn then where does baby oil come from?"This took me 2 seconds to look up. Petroleum and related byproducts.
- •"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"Barbie is a commodity. Commodities do not have "friends" in the same way people do. Maybe you should brush up on your Marx.
- •"If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?"No. That's two courses.
- •"Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?"Sure, if you are trying to shoot him quietly they die just like any other human I'm not sure what the controversy is here.
- •"If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?"No, they are unrelated words.
- •"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"No. Again, language is arbitrary.
- •"If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?"That would be a tragedy.
- •"If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?"I refer you, again, to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.
- •"If you wore antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?"Okay, you got me. This one is pretty good. 👏👏👏👍