MADONNA'S DISCOGRAPHY, FROM BEST TO LEAST BEST*
My true li.st fans will know that I quoted Madonna quoting Julius Caesar on my graduation cap. Even truer fans will know that I got to sing with her at her MDNA concert in Kansas City. She is my god. *not including soundtracks
- •True Blue (1986)Papa Don't Preach is maybe the greatest song ever written. Open Your Heart is sweet AND gut-wrenching. Live to Tell is my mom's favorite Madonna song, so obvi it must be good. Where's The Party is the greatest Friday night song you'll ever hear. True Blue is a love song to end all love songs. La Isla Bonita??? SO FUN. FUN ALBUM, FUN ARTIST, FUN FUN FUN.
- •Rebel Heart (2015)This album is fully badass. She quotes herself in so many different songs. She got Diplo, Nicki Minaj, Kanye, Nas, and Chance the Rapper to produce or be featured. She 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 staying 👏🏼 relevant 👏🏼 as 👏🏼 hell.
- •Like a Virgin (1984)Go ahead and watch Quentin Tarantino's Like a Virgin monologue from Reservoir Dogs, be grossed out and angry, then watch or listen to Madonna's newer "stripped" version of the song and realize that maybe he was right???
- •Like a Prayer (1989)Hello, my name is Emma and in 2012 I sang "Like a Prayer" with Madonna at her concert. It changed my life and I think about it every day. But also this album was so badass that it was condemned by the Catholic Church. Career goals.
- •MDNA (2012)People hate on this album all the time but SORRY SHE EVOLVES AND DOESN'T CONSTANTLY WANT TO CREATE THE BUBBLEGUM POP YOU NERDS ARE USED TO. She's going to keep up with the dang times, okay? If she wants to collab with EDM artists, she can. This is an album of freakin bangers and I'm going to be here for it until the end of time.
- •Madonna (1983)The greatest debut album of all time and I will fight you about it.
- •Confessions on a Dancefloor (2005)This album feels like it was written for people from normal places that should have been born in magical places. And I say that purely because of I Love New York. But Hung Up? The video? I see u, Madge. Hottie.
- •Hard Candy (2008)This album was the first time I really remember noticing Madonna in my life. 4 Minutes was my jam. Candy Shop is hot as hell. Devil Wouldn't Recognize You is nasty good. Remember when she sang Born This Way on her MDNA tour and followed it with She's Not Me?? Beat Goes On is the most classic Kanye x Madonna collab imo.
- •Music (2000)This would be maybe two places higher if she didn't look like a fake ass cowboy on the cover. Do yourself a dang favor and look up her performance of Music on Oprah. Iconic.
- •Erotica (1992)Released with her book. Great, empowering, gimmicky. See below for the follow up.
- •Bedtime Stories (1994)She wrote an entire album just to be like "You guys suck, my book was great, I can talk about sex whenever I want," which is incredible and empowering, but it's also the only thing the album is. Just a lot of sex. I can't listen to this album on a roadtrip with my mom, so what's the point?
- •Ray of Light (1998)Like??? It's fine??? I guess???
- •I'm Breathless (1990)Included this one because it's not technically a soundtrack. It's music from AND inspired by "Dick Tracy". Plus it has one of the greatest and most problematic songs of all time, Vogue. That's the only great song on the album though. Just to be clear - what Madonna wrote about was vogueing. What the music video and all subsequent performances were about were not vogueing. Just appropriation of urban gay culture.
- •American Life (2003)Honestly? Not a single banger in the whole album. Just disappointment.