MY WEDDING PLANS💍👰🏼

Love is in the air, y'all.
  1. Modeled after a Catholic wedding mass, as that is all I know.
  2. Officiated by: my best friend, Zach.
    Alternate if he is unavailable: a hologram of Jesus
  3. Dress: custom-made to perfectly fit the most cutting edge fashion of the time.
    No one else will be allowed into the ceremony if they have even a speck of white on them. This is my time to shine, and shine I will.
  4. Theme: Real Housewives meets Jane the Virgin meets Empire
    Oh, you'll get it when you see it.
  5. For the ceremony:
  6. The wedding party will walk down the aisle to "Time of my Life"
    It'll be an interpretation of the Dirty Dancing choreography, where I burst through the doors at the climactic moment and my husband to-be lifts me up.
  7. First Reading will be from "The Notebook" a.k.a. the most romantic movie of all time
    “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.”
  8. Responsorial Psalm
    Beyonce's "Love on Top", but just the end where she goes nuts on that chorus.
  9. Second Reading will be Billy Crystal's last monologue from "When Harry Met Sally" a.k.a. the second most romantic movie of all time, where he finally professes his love for Meg Ryan.
  10. Instead of a Gospel Reading, we watch "Friends" The One with Phoebe's Wedding
    The whole thing. The truest love story on television.
  11. Our vows will be exchanged spoken-word/slam-poetry style and whoever gets the most snaps wins the wedding.
  12. Instead of exchanging rings, we exchange kidneys.
    The congregation will sit through the entire medical procedure. Rings are pretty, but having each other's kidneys inside our bodies will bond us forever.
  13. You know how they pass around a basket to put money in to donate to the church?
    All that money will go directly to my husband and I.
  14. Instead of the Lord's Prayer, everyone recites "That Would Be Enough" from "Hamilton, while making stern eye contact with my husband-to-be, ensuring that he learns from Hamilton's mistakes.
  15. There will be no Sign of Peace, as it very well could distract from our first kiss at the end.
  16. During communion, everyone gets their own bottle of wine to pregame for the reception. We're all about to turn way the hell up.
    The communion song will be "Crazy" by Britney Spears
  17. During the final blessing, Lady Gaga comes out and plays "Dope"
    Everyone cries. My makeup still looks perfect, though. It's beautiful and everyone knows that we will be together forever.
  18. Zach says that THE BRIDE AND GROOM MAY NOW KISS EACH OTHER BECAUSE GENDER IS OVER AND KISSES ARE MUTUAL AND GROOMS DON'T GET TO OWN THE FINAL KISS
  19. We will walk back down the aisle to "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" by Usher
    Flawlessly choreographed
  20. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️