The Five Worst Movies I've Seen in 2016
One of my favorite things to do is go to the movies with my wife. We love the cinema and we love good movies. Unfortunately, this year has been almost the complete nadir in cinematic entertainment. Of all the movies I've seen in 2016, the bad outweigh the good. Due to li.st's structure, #1 will be the "least bad" and #5 will be the "most bad."
- •Finding DoryBoo yah. Starting off this list with some guaranteed flak I'll be taking. Everyone was so excited before this movie came out, but once it was released, everyone realized how utterly forgettable it really is and stopped talking about it. Sure, it provided a few chuckles and Pixar's visuals are 🔥🔥🔥, but Finding Nemo's warmth, soul, and incredible pacing are absent here. This is more Cars 2 than anything.
- •Pride and Prejudice and ZombiesThis movie is a frustrating case. It gets some stuff absolutely right while getting so much more absolutely wrong. THE GOOD: the Bennet sisters kicking zombie tail, Lily James as Lizzie, MATT SMITH AS MR. COLLINS. THE BAD: a woefully miscast Darcy (who plays him like Victorian Batman), oddball "four horseman" plot, pacing issues. THE UGLY: Wickham's "snidely whiplash" portrayal, the "twist" ending aka the worst cliffhanger of all time. Oh yeah, spoilers.
- •X-Men ApocalypseUgh. Just ugh. This movie proves why the X-Men franchise needs to rest for a bit. So many characters have nothing to do while the movie squeezes them from plot contrivance to plot contrivance, while killing half the world's population in what's supposedly the X-Men's first mission. The 90's X-Men cartoon handled things WAY better than this movie and that's saying something. There, the characters had room to breathe. Here, they just stand around and wait for Quicksilver and Wolverine to show up.
- •Independence Day: ResurgenceWas anyone asking for a sequel to Independence Day? Did we need one? The answer is no. Sure, the original wasn't high art, but it was good fun and it proved why the world needs Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum. This movie is a beat-for-beat, tone-deaf retread of the original. This movie has so many flaws, it's hard to pick just one. While flying through city-wide destruction and death, one character jokes "they like to get the landmarks." That's what kind of movie this is.
- •Batman v Superman: Dawn of JusticeBehold: 2016's answer to The Phantom Menace. Overhyped, overblown, and overlong, this movie is just a mess. I mean, even the title is awful. Never mind the fact that you have a Superman who doesn't care about the world, a Batman who straight up murders, people, and a Lex Luthor who uses his own urine for a dastardly plot. This movie is evidence that Zack Snyder peaked at 300. In the words of Roger Ebert: I hated this move. I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie.