Careers I'd Pursue If Money Wasn't An Option

  1. Those people that chase pets that get out during international soccer games
    (But not streakers. I'm not chasing streakers.)
  2. Continuity error consultant for shows longer than 3 seasons
  3. Emma Stone's shopping partner.
  4. Emma Stone's drinking partner.
  5. Probably a 24/7 freelance hipster
    Start-up coffee shops can hire me to make their place seem cool. Hire me to come listen to your garage band. Of course I'm willing to try that vegan dish you're advertising. Me and my colored skinny jeans are here to help.
  6. 50's diner owner.
    It would so great to recreate the aesthetic of the 1950's. Neon signs, poodle skirts, leather jackets. (Also sans racism.)
  7. That person in the ABC Family headquarters that pushes the big red button with "HARRY POTTER MOVIE MARATHON WEEKEND"