How I Know My Cat Is The Boss Of Me

Or, how I became my cat's pet and he became the owner.
  1. 1.
    He does not allow dancing. His house is a Footloose town that even Kevin Bacon cannot save.
  2. 2.
    He controls what I wear, and has banned all workout pants from his presence. Should they appear, he will promptly deliver swift punishment in the form of biting.
  3. 3.
    He has banished all forms of exercise from the vicinity of his domain. Should I be caught in a push-up or crunch position, I must prepare for him to lock onto my head until this "dreadful" motion ceases.
  4. 4.
    My food is his food.
  5. 5.
    My body is his bed and my breathing/comfort is of no concern to him.
  6. 6.
    Of course, he determines when I feed him. And he is the alarm clock, waking me at his discretion.
  7. 7.
    He's the Alpha Male. Several attempts on husband's life. Weapon of choice- stairs.