How I Know My Cat Is The Boss Of Me
Or, how I became my cat's pet and he became the owner.
- •He does not allow dancing. His house is a Footloose town that even Kevin Bacon cannot save.
- •He controls what I wear, and has banned all workout pants from his presence. Should they appear, he will promptly deliver swift punishment in the form of biting.
- •He has banished all forms of exercise from the vicinity of his domain. Should I be caught in a push-up or crunch position, I must prepare for him to lock onto my head until this "dreadful" motion ceases.
- •My food is his food.
- •My body is his bed and my breathing/comfort is of no concern to him.
- •Of course, he determines when I feed him. And he is the alarm clock, waking me at his discretion.
- •He's the Alpha Male. Several attempts on husband's life. Weapon of choice- stairs.