...or are they?
  1. every time i cough in my sleep it's because a spider crawled down my throat
  2. i'll choke on a sandwich when i'm home alone and not be able to do heimlich against a table or whatever you do to not die
  3. if we leave our deck door open at night a raccoon will saunter in and attack our dog with his tiny leathery human-y hands
  4. i'll trip crossing against the light and get run over by a humvee and you'll have to use my dental records to identify me
  5. it's been so long since I've been to the dentist my dental records won't identify me
  6. our bed will break while we're sleeping and crush my dog underneath
    i legit make preston check the bolts like once a week. its been taken apart and put together through 3 moves and i'm like WHAT IF AN IMPORTANT BOLT IS MISSING?!!
  7. that the Big One will happen while I am on BART, underground, and I'll have to help keep a fellow commuter alive
    i know a belt is also a tourniquet (see my previous list about medical shows)
  8. i'll fall down any stairs i walk down and break my 2 front teeth off
    lots of dental related fear i am realizing
  9. I'll be that person who finds a finger/dead frog/plastic shard/field mouse in her takeout