THINGS ABOUT THE INTERNET THAT WOULD HAVE MOST IMPRESSED TWELVE YEAR OLD ME

  1. Not having to talk to a girl face-to-face until you knew she was into you.
  2. Easy to send mean messages to rappers and athletes that you don't like.
  3. No need to subscribe to Sports Illustrated to see baseball bloopers.
  4. Infinity Pornography (let's be real).
  5. Ninja stars shipped to your house.
  6. Wikipedia just shortened amount of time needed for report on African nation of Togo.