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  1. I'm using this step stool to work out. I built this step stool. What have I ever built that hasn't spectacularly fallen apart? Why am I trusting this step stool with my slightly overweight body?
  2. What if I pass out? My roommate won't be home for 8 more hours. I'll probably get in trouble for missing work. But they're gonna feel REAL bad when they find out that I've been laying on the floor all day almost dead.
  3. Oh my god it has to have been 7 minutes by now. Holy shit it's only been 2 1/2. I need a break. Like an island getaway break. Why am I not rich? If I'm not rich by 35 I'm ending it.
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