I TROLLED MY EX CRUSH ON TINDER FOR SONDRE LERCHE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LIST
Inspired by @sondrelerche and my troll-like nature. Honestly, I don't know how anyone puts up with me.
- •Okay so singular 'ex' is beyoooond generous for the situation. As in inaccurate.
- •In that there's a weird history but no actual relationship.
- •What do I call that? A man-ghost I've had a useless crush on for 5 years? Garbage person? A guy who shouldn't be in my life but I still talk to every once and a while because I'm an idiot?He's not even hot enough to deserve this. Okay no, he's pretty cute. But that's not the point.
- •The gist is that we met 5 years ago in New York when I was in college and he in grad school.
- •I was cast in his film. I had a baby crush on him but nothing worth talking about. He had a girlfriend and I adored her. Seriously, she was the greatest. He even told me years later that she convinced him to cast me.
- •We've been in touch every couple of years since. Flirting, drinks, months of texting.
- •A week ago I found out from Tinder that he had moved to LA and swiped me right. LOLOLOLOLOL.
- •Chit chat. Then suddenly it appeared he was ignoring me. NOPE not today.
- •Troll take 2.
- •She had begun to wonder about him. Small exchanges every few years. Perhaps it was a strategy or maybe, more simply, a tried and true methodology to stave off that existential boredom for just a few extra moments. Whatever it was, it was all question marks with no real information, no action, just little electrical breadcrumbs to keep the flow
- •heading downriver, with neither of them knowing where it all headed. Was she doomed to dwell in this digital purgatory, she mused to herself? Was everything before this moment purely a fictional exercise? But all of this was covering up what was really on her mind. The real question that plagued her and weighed her down on this idyllic and sunny
- •Saturday afternoon surfaced like a Magic 8 ball prophecy: How many pancakes should I eat today? And how many would be too many?