WE TRIED

  1. We tried
  2. Our hardest
  3. And it wasn't quite enough
  4. To keep from drifting
  5. So far
  6. So far that the feel of your fingerprints
  7. Is printed on my memory and not my skin.
  8. You took me to magical places and took care of me
  9. I made you laugh and helped you learn how to be vulnerable
  10. Then reality swept in
  11. Changing the entire view
  12. And what we see now is not what we saw then.
  13. We tried so hard
  14. To see things from the other side
  15. To understand what it is they wanted most
  16. What would make them happy
  17. What would keep them warm
  18. But there was a pane of glass
  19. Slowly ascending between us
  20. That we didn't see until
  21. It was sealed water tight.
  22. And everything we said
  23. Seemed strangely garbled
  24. And indecipherable
  25. Impossible to understand.
  26. My throat: raw from screaming
  27. My fist: bruised and bloody
  28. From trying to break through
  29. Through to you.
  30. I tried so hard to love you
  31. To split myself open
  32. And let you see the very best half
  33. And the very worst half
  34. But even though
  35. You told me I was beautiful on the inside and the outside
  36. Even though
  37. You told me I was weird and mysterious in a way that made you want me
  38. I wasn't enough.
  39. Because you are there and I am here
  40. Suddenly worlds apart so fast.
  41. Your scent has evaporated from my sheets
  42. And the clothes from your drawer washed
  43. Erasing every memory of your body
  44. Tidily folded into your paper bag
  45. Awaiting their next command.
  46. I do not get to hold you
  47. And put my hand against your abdomen, feeling your muscles contract
  48. Put my head right in the curve of your neck
  49. And breathe in your soft and sweet scent
  50. I don't get to fall asleep while we are tangled together
  51. Or hear your monster-like snores
  52. Or kiss your forehead goodnight
  53. And good morning
  54. Because you are there and I am here.
  55. I tried so hard
  56. I loved so hard.
  57. But sometimes love is not enough.