Historical Figures I Would Fight
just in case
- •HemingwayI feel like I could take him, and I bet he'd hit me back. I'd chug a bottle of whiskey, then crack him over the head with it. "This is for making me read The Old Man and the Sea, B*TCH."
- •Andrew JacksonI don't need to explain myself. And if he didn't have his cane to fight back with, I would still struggle, but ultimately win.
- •Rebecca FeltonOLD, GEORGIAN RACIST. I don't care that you're the first woman to serve in the senate. Practice some intersectional feminism next time, scrub.
- •Hattie CarrawaySee: Rebecca Felton
- •Emperor NeroI could get in one good punch before I was killed.
- •Hunter S. ThomsonI'd run him over. Too insufferable to put up with.
- •F. Scott FitzgeraldDO IT FOR ZELDA
- •Alexander HamiltonThis man would be a giant push over. If Burr can win against him in a duel just because he didn't like him, I could definitely take him from the sheer annoyance of listening to everyone talk about that damn musical.
- •PutinI better knock him out with the first swing, because he would literally kill me.
- •Walt DisneyBut only while dressed up like Minnie Mouse
- •Dick CheneyHonestly, who wouldn't?
- •Woody AllenDoes he count as historical? Whatever, I don't care. Get wrecked.