EXCERPTS FROM WIKIHOW-INSPIRED POETRY 📖

wikiHow articles meet lyric poetry in the book "How to Feel Confident with Your Special Talents" - titled after the authors' favorite wikiHow article (www.wiki.how/Feel-Confident-With-Your-Special-Talents). Carol Guess is the author of 13 books and a Professor of English at Western Washington University. Daniela Olszewska has 3 forthcoming books.
  1. "Confidence will extend beyond your toes and your hair extensions."
  2. "My therapist can beat up your therapist. Hand over your milk money."
  3. "Marry the stove. Marry the freezer. And when you kiss, weld your tongue to ice: burn."
  4. "A golden bullet will neither kill nor injure a werewolf."
  5. "Hearts are just circles with pointy chins."
  6. "I went to Craigslist and all I found was... god grades on the cross not curves."
  7. "Remember that computer-generated passwords make you look fat."
  8. "'How to Ignore Pain and Feelings' - At night your friends are all having fun without you."
  9. "How to Treat Cat Anorexia. How to Make Thin Lips Thick with 3 Shades of Lipstick."
  10. "Ignore monogrammed initials, or say it's part of the new design. Your new pet name for her."