WAYS TO EXPLAIN HOW IT FEELS TO BE A NEW DAD
My 11 week-old daughter has completely changed my life. My childless buddies don't get it.
- •You love someone so much you smell their poop. Heck, you WANT to smell it.
- •You are a non-threatening stalker of a tiny celebrity who lives in your home.
- •You get so tired that you dream about sleeping.
- •You have an intense (non-romantic) crush on someone who doesn't even know your name.
- •You get punched in the face by someone repeatedly. Then you have to go change their diaper.
- •Your proudest moment in your entire life is nothing compared to your child's newfound ability to lift up their head.
- •You freak out thinking about how you're passing on terrible habits.
- •You are an amateur Sherlock Holmes, obsessively trying to understand your child's behavior through "clues".
- •You realize how different genders are because the mother is a bottomless pit of patience and love. You can handle 45 minutes tops.