most importantly, look at that face
  1. BECAUSE YOUR DICK CAN'T SUCK ITSELF
    Static
    Crisp, to the point, subtlety is dead for a reason. Provides you the answer to the question you probably never thought to ask
  2. I MADE A BLOWJOB MACHINE Plug it in and it does all the work for you!
    Static
    Sure, a little braggy but that's not the face of a modest man. Also, a great way to slip in the fact that it's easy to use and needs its own grounded outlet.