I AM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR!

So, YES! I can see your mistakes in a glance.
  1. That extra space
  2. The incorrect font
    Times New Roman has been the standard for over half my life. Do you really think I can't tell your shit is in a different serif typeface!?! Oh, you don't know what typeface is? I DO!
  3. The spelling mistakes
    TURN ON THE FUCKING SPELL CHECK!!
  4. The grammar mistakes
    Green does NOT mean good to go in this case. Don't ignore the grammar check, at the least it might catch one mistake.
  5. The lack of double spacing
    Who the fuck sets their shit to 1.25? For an academic essay? Why? Why? That is NOT double spacing!!!
  6. The incorrect punctuation
    Unless some writing master of style has taught you well enough, DO NOT ATTEMPT THE DAMN SEMICOLON!!! It is not "impressive" unless you use it correctly, which statistics show you probably will not do.
  7. Your lack of citations
    😑 😠 Yes! The software I told you I would run it through, I ran it through it, and it showed me the truth! And yes, even if it did not find it, you have to cite where the fuck you found out @BWN_7 has 25,004 emails! Because I don't believe numbers like that are something you just happen to know without looking that shit up! (Like I did and would cite as such if I had the time but I tagged him so that's acknowledgement of the source 😁)
  8. I know the difference between MLA, APA, and Chicago formats
    Just because MLA is required does not mean I can't tell the difference when you use a different format. And yes, you will get marked off, because the college REQUIRES MLA FORMAT.
  9. You may or may not be surprised to discover that freshman English Composition students will NOT listen to anything you tell them, or try to teach them. And age does not matter. So do not assume it's a "young person thing" as some people seem to think. I have students from 17-67yo. Almost none of them follow the basic requirements 😕
  10. I decided to take a much needed break from grading these life-sucking essays to drop in. The semester is almost over! I shall return soon...and I am looking forward to it. I miss this community of wonderful, error-free writing!
    Much reading to catch up on and @veshecco, I am SORRY, and I have not forgotten!