MY LIFE IN TEN SONGS
Whew, I couldn't decide whether to go with songs that are my life because of the memories they conjure, or songs in which the lyrics are my life. When I realized I could do both, I was like 😳 These came to me easier than I thought they would, yet made me feel challenged. Thanks @nathanveshecco 😊
- •Flesh & Bone—The killersThe lyrics are basically the theme song to my life—years 0-32. "I've gone through life white-knuckled In the moments that left me behind ... They say I'll adjust God knows I must But I'm not sure how This natural selection picked me out to be A dark horse running in a fantasy ... Somewhere outside that finish line I square up and break through the chains And I hit like a raging bull ... And you always had it, but you never knew ... There's no surrender, 'cause there's no retreat"
- •Dear Mama—2PacMy mom and I had a tumultuous relationship until I was 19. I didn't do as I was told. I did bad things, although not the illegal things in the song. I spent the rest of the years I had with her trying to make up for the years I gave her grief. This song helped me learn the positions that I put her in. "I reminisce on the stress I caused, it was hell ... You always was committed ... There's no way I can pay you back But the plan is to show you that I understand You are appreciated"
- •Criminal—Fiona AppleIn addition to being a bad girlfriend I did many things I shouldn't have, as a manic teen. "And it's a sad sad world When a girl will break a boy Just because she can ... Heaven help me For the way I am Save me from These evil deeds Before I get them done I know tomorrow brings The consequence at hand But I keep livin' this day like The next will never come ..."
- •These Boots Were Made for Walking—Nancy SinatraWhen I finally realized I didn't have to punish myself for hurting others in the past by letting him get away with everything, and deserved power in the relationship. "You keep sayin' you got something for me Something you call love, but confess ... You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin' And you keep thinking that you'll never get burned ... These boots are made for walkin' And that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you"
- •Breathe Me—SiaDepression has caused me much grief all my life. This song sums up the times I caused the spiral and wanted it to stop. "Help, I have done it again I have been here many times before ... And the worst part is there's no one else to blame ... Ouch, I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah, I think that I might break ... Be my friend Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me I am small and needy Warm me up And breathe me"
- •Elastic Heart—SiaI have bipolar. I can't love both sides of myself—but they won't stop fighting to get me to. "Oh why can I not conquer love? And I might have thought that we were one ... Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart, But your blade—it might be too sharp ... But you won't see me fall apart 'Cause I've got an elastic heart ... And I know that I can survive I'll walk through fire to save my life ... And I want it, I want my life so bad I'm doing everything I can ... I'm still fighting for peace"
- •Walk—Foo FightersAfter I had an unplanned child (with an IUD in). My husband had to report back after two weeks; it was just me, a difficult newborn, an a 6yo who'd been the center of the universe for six years. I didn't think I was going to survive. This song helped me remember I'd get through it. "...I think I lost my way Getting good at starting over Every time that I return I'm learning to walk again ... Where do I begin ... I think I found my place Can't you feel it growing stronger? Little conquerors."
- •Traveller—Chris StapletonI've lived many places, and I'll continue to for 10+ years more because it's required with the husband's work. But I've always needed to be traveling. Something inside me just has to get on the road and go sometimes. Luckily, my husband understands that if he doesn't let me go when I need to, the next time I leave, I won't come back. "I couldn’t tell you honey, I don’t know Where I’m going but I’ve got to go ‘Cause every turn reveals some other road And I’m a traveller, oh, I’m a traveller"
- •Any Patsy Cline songMy mother's favorite singer. She's gone, but thinking of some Patsy helps.
- •Secret Garden—Bruce SpringsteenFrom the start of my life, I have never—and doubt I ever will—trust someone. "...She'll let you into the parts of herself That'll bring you down She'll let you in her heart If you got a hammer and a vise ... You've gone a million miles How far you'd get ... She'll let you come just far enough So you know she's really there She'll look at you and smile And her eyes will say She's got a secret garden Where everything you want Where everything you need Will always stay A million miles away"
- •More than this