OTHER MICRO-AGGRESSIVE CNN HEADLINES

Apparently, CNN was shocked (SHOCKED!) that blacks didn't shoot up the movies when Straight Outta Compton was released. To be fair, they weren't the only ones, as extra security was used for many locations. A cursory look at some other headlines show that this is not the first time they've been surprised by the obvious. Because micro-aggression.
  1. McDonalds "Two McGriddles for $3" Promotion Yields No Gang Violence
    Blacks love cheap breakfast sandwiches
  2. Ice Cube's AK Not Used at Local Basketball Pickup Game
    Cube goes for 26, 12, and 10; shoots no one
  3. LeBron James Donates Millions of Dollars Instead of Mixtapes to Local College
    Blacks be rappin'
  4. Morehouse Screening of "Do the Right Thing" Prompts No Trash Cans Thrown Through Windows
    Blacks be angry and unruly; Spike Lee gets semi-annual wraparound from entire campus
  5. Black Guest Speaker on CNN Does Not Yell Angrily Whilst Brandishing a Semi-Automatic Weapon
    Guest spoke so well; was not Stephen A. Smith
  6. First Day of School Only Produces Eight School Shootings Nationwide; No Suspects are Black
    Black kids put guns in their backpacks
  7. No Apple Music Employees Shot After Dr. Dre releases New Album Exclusively Through iTunes.
    Gangsta rap more dangerous than cigarettes
  8. 92 Year-Old Black Man in Oakland Dies of Natural Causes
    Avoided decades of gang bullets whizzing by head; also, Oakland PD
  9. Barack Obama SOTU Address Does Not Rhyme; No Gold Chains Worn
    Walked out to "Hail to the Chief" instead of Jay Z's "The Takeover"; congress baffled
  10. CNN Inexplicably Still Profitable
    Unrelated: Blacks didn't act the fool today