OTHER MICRO-AGGRESSIVE CNN HEADLINES
Apparently, CNN was shocked (SHOCKED!) that blacks didn't shoot up the movies when Straight Outta Compton was released. To be fair, they weren't the only ones, as extra security was used for many locations. A cursory look at some other headlines show that this is not the first time they've been surprised by the obvious. Because micro-aggression.
- •McDonalds "Two McGriddles for $3" Promotion Yields No Gang ViolenceBlacks love cheap breakfast sandwiches
- •Ice Cube's AK Not Used at Local Basketball Pickup GameCube goes for 26, 12, and 10; shoots no one
- •LeBron James Donates Millions of Dollars Instead of Mixtapes to Local CollegeBlacks be rappin'
- •Morehouse Screening of "Do the Right Thing" Prompts No Trash Cans Thrown Through WindowsBlacks be angry and unruly; Spike Lee gets semi-annual wraparound from entire campus
- •Black Guest Speaker on CNN Does Not Yell Angrily Whilst Brandishing a Semi-Automatic WeaponGuest spoke so well; was not Stephen A. Smith
- •First Day of School Only Produces Eight School Shootings Nationwide; No Suspects are BlackBlack kids put guns in their backpacks
- •No Apple Music Employees Shot After Dr. Dre releases New Album Exclusively Through iTunes.Gangsta rap more dangerous than cigarettes
- •92 Year-Old Black Man in Oakland Dies of Natural CausesAvoided decades of gang bullets whizzing by head; also, Oakland PD
- •Barack Obama SOTU Address Does Not Rhyme; No Gold Chains WornWalked out to "Hail to the Chief" instead of Jay Z's "The Takeover"; congress baffled
- •CNN Inexplicably Still ProfitableUnrelated: Blacks didn't act the fool today