WITCHY FASHION TO EMBRACE
Witches recognize no such thing as a 'fashion faux-pas.'
- •Crystal necklaces. Better yet, return to what they're clearly the updated version of: those little vials of fairy glitter that you could get on a chain.
- •Going braless. I know this isn't an option for all the boobèd witches among us; I personally am grateful for my solidly average B-cups every day of my life. I put on an underwire today and promptly took it back off again, because FUCK that. Everyone can just deal with my nipples until I am professionally forced otherwise.
- •'Unflattering' clothing. The idea that you have to have a certain body type to dress a certain way is truly laughable. 'Fat people can't wear crop top—' you start to tell a witch and next thing you know, you're ribbeting from a stew in which you, now a toad, are simmering.
- •Wearing pajama shorts and an old t-shirt to the grocery store. Is there anything witchier than getting so wrapped up in your work that you forget you don't have anything in your dwelling for dinner?
- •High waists. Low waists. Whatever waists. The actual witchiest thing is not getting on people's cases about what they like to wear. I can't tell you how many pieces I've seen in which people (usually dudes) tell people (usually women) to stop wearing high-waisted shorts, & I'm here to tell them: Nobody cares! Nobody asked for your rude opinion!
- •Jeggings could stand to be brought back, now that I'm thinking in this vein, if for no other reason than to spite everybody who ever made a disparaging comment about them.
- •Those long, flowy skirts that wouldn't look out of place on your New Age mom. Maybe you are the New Age mom! That would be awesome, and I'm glad to see you on The List App! I myself am ageless and unknowable.
- •Chokers. In general, if it looks like something the goth kid in a mid-90s movie might wear, chances are it's pretty good.
- •Crushed black velvet. There's nothing wrong with knowing exactly who you are and wanting to share that with the world.
- •Pointed hats. I personally look terrible in hats of all kinds, but if an old-school classic like this is your thing, then I'd say you can't go wrong with it.
- •Using grave dirt as eyeliner or swamp slime to touch up your lips and cheeks. It never goes out of style.