Best Fringe Benefits of Being Married

Besides the whole love, companionship, and taxes thing.
  1. "I can't, my wife..."
    Wish I've had this my entire post-elementary school life.
  2. Her car is much nicer.
    I mean its model year is in the 2000s.
  3. Target
    You go to Target a LOT when you're married. Which is great.
  4. You appear less creepy.
    Instead of "Oh it's that weird dude that goes to Chick-fil-A every day", it's "Oh look it's that cute couple that comes in to Chick-fil-A all the time."
  5. You have constant entertainment.
    The ring is so much fun to play with.
  6. Extra musical depth.
    The ring acts as a great extra sound to make when steering wheel drumming.
  7. "Nah, it's just something my wife enjoys."
    Your knowledge of Gilmore Girls is justified.
  8. No longer lazy.
    Watching movies on the couch all day is now considered "quality downtime".