A Few Things That Are Making Me Nervous About This Doctor

This doctor is creeping me out, and here's why.
  1. He Is Asking Me Really Weird Questions
    I'm not one to be embarrassed by questions about my sexual history, or about past drug use. But the questions about what I do with my beard clippings, or the color of my bed sheets when I was a child, are kind of making me feel uncomfortable.
  2. The Equipment He Is Checking Me Out With
    I'm no doctor, but I think that thing is supposed to go in my ear, not my butt. And I've never seen one of those things before.
  3. His Outfit
    His scrubs are more like a skin tight shiny plastic suit... I've never seen any of my other doctors wearing scrubs like these.
  4. His Creepy Smile and Laugher
    Every time he makes a long shallow incision into my skin with the scalpel, his smile gets more and more wide, and his laughter, his laughter sounds more and more uncontrollable.
  5. How I Scheduled The Appointment
    To tell you the truth... I don't even remember scheduling an appointment. How did I get here??? Wait a second!! I'm strapped down! Help! HELP! Somebody help me please!!