Curse Words I Can Use Around My Kid

I had my kid when I was 39. Cursing isn't a habit, it's an ingrained trait.
  1. Af -
    Af - This is the single greatest abbreviation for a mom who wants to keep her kid from crowning her with the rep of worst mom of the year. It also makes me laugh to say it as aff. Middle aged white women saying aff and raising the roof will never not be funny to me.
  2. Freaking -
    this is questionable.
  3. Oh my freaking god -
    Even more questionable. Def not acceptable when visiting the fam in TX.
  4. Holy cats -
    luckily this was already part of my vernacular pre-kid.
  5. Balls out -
    not really a curse, more of a word modifier. Balls out awesome, balls out crazy, balls out funny. But I like to say it and I don't feel bad about it.
  6. Wowsa, wowsers, wows -
    I use this A LOT. It's my kid friendly version of fuckin A right, fuck yeah and fucking fantastic.
  7. Nefarious-
    I'm trying this out. @whitneyc mentioned overusing this word, but I feel it has been largely historically underused. I may have to find another use because my tendency is to slap it in front of motherfucker or bastard.
  8. Jesus -
    This is my kid's current favorite curse. I can't really fault him on it except in the case of visiting TX.
  9. Frick on a stick
    Suggested by @icupcake