GYMS I HAVE BELONGED TO AND HONESTLY WHY I LEFT

Requested by @boygirlparty
  1. Gold's Gym, Buenos Aires. With limited choices during study abroad, I signed up in a desperate attempt to combat the pasta being consumed. I came back to the US, bringing with me the life lesson that "meathead" defies national boundaries.
  2. LA Fitness in - LA. I left because I graduated, but also because I had already amassed a lifetime of memories of the kickboxing instructor doing Russian jumps mid-class. In LA you can never work out enough, so why bother at all? Off I went.
  3. Ok, I left but not really. Next gym was LA Fitness in San Diego. It was always empty. If no one else was going, why should I? Also: slim pickings depressed me about my new city. Also: bad tv options on hanging screens everywhere, just out of reach and melting my brain.
  4. Bikram Yoga. Oh San Francisco, where people give hippie birth and return to class the next week. Time to move back to San Diego.
  5. Bar Method. Working out in socks just felt like cheating.
  6. The YMCA. Ah the great car theft of 2008. Fun times. Almost as much fun as realizing you're 35 years younger than everyone else in the yoga room.
  7. Bikram Yoga, Old Town. An instructor stopped hot, stinky class to publicly tell me off for sitting down. In my defense, I was blacking out. Did you know it was even physically possible for yoga teachers to yell? Me neither! It was my second of 2 classes in a row that day. I had caught her sneaking out of the first one.
  8. Barry's Bootcamp. I was sick of explaining to people that it's a great workout with a horrible name.
  9. Pilates Plus. I moved. But also: all the 6am workouts in the world couldn't change the fact that I could do Pilates day and night and the ladies of La Jolla would still be the size of *one* of my legs.
  10. The Rush. Spin, yes! Sweat, hell yes! Showers, not so much.
  11. Core Power Yoga. Yoga with music! Unfortunately also yoga with no parking.
  12. SparkCycle. I did a Bieber ride. My work here is done.
  13. To be continued. Hello, Seattle...