THINGS MY MOM SAID ON HER ER VISIT TONIGHT

The lady had herself a spill at the airport and found herself gifted with a broken ankle and a slow hospital process. Now, the audio:
  1. Doc: "How did it happen?" Mom: "I was walking in platform shoes I don't have a license to wear."
  2. Tech: "We're here to put on your cast." Mom: "Is it fashionable? Not pink. I said FASHIONABLE."
  3. "I can't play Words with Friends. Fix my phone so I can play Words with Friends."
    I kinda expected "Where are my painkillers?!" To each their own!
  4. Medics: "You will need to cut off your pants when you get home." Mom: "These are my favorite pants. No one is cutting anything."
  5. (Looking around) "Come closer. I want to tell you guys a joke but I don't want to say 'gooze' too loud."
    Gooze is Persian for "fart". Her reaction to extreme pain: tell fart jokes. My mother, ladies and gentlemen.
  6. Dad: "Don't break the other leg!" Mom: "I'm definitely going to break another leg, but it won't be mine!"