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  1. Jonathan Franzen mom
    I was hoping for something like "Jonathan Franzen's mom is a monster" but there was nothing salacious in the first page of results.
  2. Olallieberries
    They are real and kind of blackberry-ish.
  3. Age of consent in Germany
    14, yikes
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These costumes will make you the Bella of the ball.
  1. Twilight vampire
    A great excuse to use up some of the body glitter you have lying around! Or to buy new body glitter if for some reason you don't have any lying around.
  2. Christopher Pike Lizard Person
    Christopher Pike has revealed that Lizard People live among us as sexier than average humans, so for this costume, step up your eyeshadow game and murder any humans who question your costume.
  3. Christian Grey
    Sex jeans and a lot of paperwork. You don't have time to attend any Halloween parties because you are too busy with your paperwork.
4 more...
We read The President Did Me From Behind And I Liked It, I Got Freaky With Santa Claus And I Liked It, and Bigfoot Did Me From Behind And I Liked It. As promised in the podcast episode, we have compiled some data for you.
  1. Jessica's dildo
    9 inches, black
  2. Tabitha's Russian diplomat
    10 inches, with "just the right amount of curly black pubic hair"
  3. Agent Jackson
    11 inches, "thick, veiny, black"
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Everything else is ⭐️⭐️ or higher.
  1. Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham
  2. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
  3. Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims by Rush Limbaugh
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Yes, we're totally gonna read LIFE AND DEATH, Stephenie Meyer's gender-swapped TWILIGHT. We'd also read gender-swapped versions of these books:
  1. 50 SHADES by E. L. James
    We'd love to see Christian get smacked around by a hot domme in skinny jeans.
  2. JAMES BOND by Ian Fleming
    Dame Judi Dench started it.
  3. DINO PARK AFTER DARK by Christie Sims & Alara Branwen
    How does this situation go down with a lady dinosaur?
2 more...