TODAY'S FEARS 7/17/15

  1. Earthquake while pooping
  2. Petting a nervous dog and only making things worse for it
  3. The particulars of coworker's "dentist story" that he keeps alluding to
  4. I open a new bank account and then the next day the bank launches a "free toaster with new account" promotion
  5. Gravity runs in reverse all of a sudden
  6. Endangered spiders