@Vogue didn't prepare me for this
  1. Boobs out on my first day
    I should have known better when I put on that button up shirt. I dressed to impress, and I certainly did, but not how I intended. I didn't notice the popped button until after lunch, and it was only then I realized why my new coworkers were so friendly.
  2. Rocking pink Disney Crocs while meeting the CEO
    I threw them on to walk my dog in the morning, and forgot to change into something less humiliating. It happened to be the day I was meeting my company's CEO for the first time. I'm sure he wanted to have a word with the hiring manager after getting a load of my Mickey Mouse toes.
  3. Donut jelly all down my front
    I bit into it, and thick purple jelly squirted out the other side all down my brand new silk shirt. The only saving grace as I changed out of it into a tshirt I found in the closet was that it was a button up shirt, and I'm sure my boobs would have popped out eventually.
  4. Dog hair up the wazoo
    She started out as a fuzzy dog, and became a sheddy dog. It took longer than I care to admit to realize my mostly-black wardrobe was dog hair magnet. I've since invented in lint brushes.
  5. Pants split as I arrived to a meeting
    It's as if they were designed with my utter embarrassment in mind. Good thing I was wearing my kickass Wonder Woman undies.