THOUGHTS WHILE TRYING DURIAN FOR THE FIRST TIME
- •Why?!Everything about this fruit begs a why. Why does it exist? Why did people start eating a spiky smelly thing? Why do people continue to eat it? Why am I eating it? Durian is the most existential fruit.
- •Durian is an odd nameThe name means "spiky," which it is, but the texture is far from the most alarming feature about this horrible thing.
- •The smell isn't so badSure it smells like a gas leak, but it's as if the gas leak is happening somewhere lovely and tropical. I can live with this.
- •The taste is the worst thing that has ever been in my bodyIt's like swallowing gasoline. My sinuses are inundated with this noxious devil fruit. I feel dirty.
- •Make it stopBeing an adventurous eater is overrated. Durian has taken over my body, it is in control now.
- •I do not like the durian, but I will respect it.My respect is largely derived from fear. Please do not harm me further, o durian.