UNINTENDED BENEFITS OF CALIFORNIA'S DROUGHT

  1. Fervent camaraderie when it rains
    Republican, democrat, black, white...it doesn't matter. Californians of every creed are excited by even the wimpiest precipitation, it unites us all.
  2. Succulents don't suck
    Personally I find the ashy greens and blues of nature's least-thirsty plants to be beyond beautiful. The rate they've been replacing lawns is nothing to be mad about.
  3. Traveling inflates the ego
    I can't be the only one who feels like a rockstar when I'm taking a 10 minute shower out of state. Fuck yeah I said 10 minutes. And fuck yeah that's three whole showers that didn't contribute to California's drought problem. I'm such a charitable person.
  4. My dog's water tastes like pasta
    I haven't explicitly asked her, but she seems to enjoy the leftover pasta-flavored water drained after my dinner. You're welcome for the snack, Sophie.
  5. More excuses to drink Vitamin Water
    I know it's not water. I know it's barely vitamins. But God help me I love that sugar drink. Now whenever people point out my poor eating habits I can blame the drought, and ask them what they're doing to help. Turn the guilt back to them!