5 THINGS YOU LEARNED AS A NEW MOMMY

New mother. Three month old. Requested by @svandorn
  1. Single parents should be given lifetime achievement awards. And full salaries.
    Let's start a petition.
  2. Daytime commercials make a lot of assumptions about you as a human
    You're depressed and need either serious medication or adult coloring books. You're very old and may die soon therefore you need life insurance. STAT. You're unemployed because you don't have a degree from ITT Technical Institute
  3. 30 years later I still know all the lyrics to all the classic children's songs- and many are very very racist
    Example...🎶Ten Little Indians🎶 Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, my masters gone away 🎶
  4. I can function on a lot less sleep than I gave myself credit for.
    Could've done a lot more in college.
  5. Best. Thing. Ever.
    Seriously. People said how great it was- but when she looks up and smiles- you feel true purpose in this life.