NOT MY FIRST KISS, BUT STILL A BAD KISSING STORY

  1. I went to college in the south.
  2. One night my friend and I decided to go to the bar.
  3. This one bar had a small stage and usually we would get on the stage until some gross guy would come dance with us so we could get free drinks
  4. This guy starts dancing with me.
  5. He's kind of cute and he has an accent.
  6. But he's like, REALLY drunk.
  7. So after a couple songs I'm like "hey, wanna buy me a drink?" :)
  8. And he says I need to kiss him first.
  9. So I gave him a little peck on the cheek cuz ew idk where your face has been all night.
  10. Then he tries to make out with me.
  11. And I'm like dodging his face.
  12. And somehow he ends up licking my eye ball 😳
  13. So I'm like "ya know what, I have to find my friend." (Even though she was 3 feet away from me)
  14. And he just gets super sad. Like stops dancing, hangs his head. Closes his eyes.
  15. I'm like "omg what's wrong?"
  16. And he's like "you don't like me. I like you."
  17. (And in my head I'm like "you've known me for 2.5 songs in this club, you don't know me enough to like me.")
  18. But I'm like "you're really cute and nice and I'm sure there's a girl out there for you but that girl isn't me."
  19. And he starts saying how I'm the one (wHAT????)
  20. And I'm like "you don't want to be with a girl like me. I'm a mess. And I still talk to my ex." (Not entirely true)
  21. And he's like still bummy.
  22. So I grab his friend and I'm like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and then my friend and I left the bar.
  23. PS. SAD BAR BOY, I HOPE YOU FOUND THE ONE. I also hope you're a better kisser when you're sober.