REASONS EVERY GROSS LOOKING LOS ANGELES TAKE OUT PLACE HAS SUCH HIGH RATINGS AND REVIEWS

Upon my last visit to LA where I was so hung over I threw up in a Ralph's (I'm aware of the irony), I was looking for some decent, greasy food to deliver and save my pathetic life. I was dumbfounded as to why every unappealing, strip mall pizza/Mexican/Chinese/anything food place had 5 out of 5 star reviews.
  1. 1.
    Their customers have extremely low expectations.
  2. 2.
    Their customers are not dismayed by the lack of anything buffalo chicken or any bacon/egg/cheese breakfast sandwiches, as I was.
  3. 3.
    Their customers do not have very refined palettes (an actual Los Angelan suggested this, not me).
  4. 4.
    Their customers are too happy due to their rapid absorption of natural vitamin D, and truly believe this is "the best pizza they've ever had."
  5. 5.
    Their customers are too positive and nice, and just can't find it in their hearts to give any food place a bad review.