I haven't been on here in awhile but today I (and maybe you) need the kind of community we've managed to build here over the last year.
  1. Please reach out to me if you need to talk or cry or yell or anything
  2. I'm not quite ready to be in action mode. It's important to me to be able to take a little while and familiarize myself with this disappointment and this hurt — I didn't expect this fear to be how I viewed the world today
  3. The only thing I've ever been certain of about my life and my future was that I'm meant to be a mother. It's in my nature to soothe and take care of loved ones and all I've ever really wanted out of my life was to have children and raise them to be certain of one thing in a world of uncertainly: that I'm there, and I love them.
  4. I'm not so sure about that this morning
  5. But I am sure that I'm here for you guys, and I love you.
  6. I have a lot to learn and a lot to reckon with about the other people in this country who look like me. That's very clear to me right now. I don't know that I'm a good enough person to open my arms and listen to them yet but I will have to try.
  7. Shoot me a message or leave a thought here.
  8. Oddly enough, a quote from the Chronicles of Narnia is in my head today. Somehow it fits:
  9. "One word, Ma'am. One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one more thing to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things — trees and grass and sun
  10. ...and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it.
  11. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia.
  12. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the worlds as dull a place as you say." — CS Lewis, The Silver Chair