WEASLEY'S WIZARD WHEEZES AND HOW I'D USE THEM

  1. Ton-Tongue Toffees
    When the guy in front of me in line at the donut shop tries ordering the last vanilla bean donut
  2. Headless Hats
    When I'm makin my way downtown, walkin fast, faces pass, and I'm home bound
  3. Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder
    When the ceiling light is on in my room and I don't want to get out of bed to turn it off
  4. Skiving Snackboxes
    When I'm at parties. I don't like being at parties. I think Fainting Fancies would be my sweet of choice
  5. Extendable Ears
    When I'm lying in bed at night and I hear couples sit on the bench in the park outside my window and I want to know what they're arguing about bc I'm nosy af
  6. Disillusionment Cloaks
    When I'm walking home alone at night bc safety first everybody
  7. Punching Telescope
    When my stargazing partner tries to correct me about what constellation we're looking at
  8. Patented Daydream Charms
    If anyone ever tries to make me sit through Suicide Squad again
  9. Fake Wands
    When I finally make it to the Wizarding World in Florida and fill half the boxes in Ollivanders with these
  10. Portable Swamp
    When I go home for the weekend and my dad tries to get me to weed the roses
  11. Canary Creams
    When I'm working an event and the author doing the reading is a white male asshat
  12. Love Potion
    When I'm at a wedding and I'm bored
  13. U-No-Poo
    When I bump into the hot a-hole at a bar and he tries to put his arms around me and I'm like bye ur the literal worst
  14. Pygmy Puffs
    When I run out of cotton balls to take the nail polish off my toes with. JK that's totally animal cruelty
  15. 10 Second Pimple Vanisher
    When I have a zit obvi
  16. Weasley's Wildfire Whiz-Bangs
    Just like honestly anytime
  17. Bruise Removal Paste
    When I'm babysitting and the kid bumps its head on the corner of the coffee table
  18. Decoy Detonators
    When the raptors in the kitchen are about to find my hiding place
  19. Shield Hats, Cloaks, and Gloves
    When I'm buying candy in bulk from cvs for the third time that week and I don't feel like being judged by the cashiers. Don't worry I'll use the self checkout
  20. Edible Dark Marks
    When my roommates eat the last brownie