Thoughts I Had While Doing Hot Yoga for the First Time

  1. 1.
    It smells like feet in here.
  2. 2.
    Balmy.
  3. 3.
    This is like stretching in the sauna without getting yelled at by naked old ladies. Amazing.
  4. 4.
    My body is a super machine.
  5. 5.
    This man in the front row is already dripping sweat. How does the body produce this much sweat?
  6. 6.
    This is kind of hot.
  7. 7.
    I am ready for ice cold beer.
  8. 8.
    Should I go to this birthday party later?
  9. 9.
    Shirt's coming off at the next pose change.
  10. 10.
    Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter.
  11. 11.
    Wish I had brought more water.
  12. 12.
    How much time is left? (20 mins)
  13. 13.
    Should've started with a 60-minute instead of 90-minute class.
  14. 14.
    I have never thought about the back of my lungs and its potential lack of development until today.
  15. 15.
    Fine, I will expand the back of my lungs.
  16. 16.
    This is like when you have a fever and people are still making you do shit.
  17. 17.
    What if I actually end up with a fever and can't go to work tomorrow?
  18. 18.
    This is worse than that time I hiked with a heat stroke.
  19. 19.
    Should've kept count of poses so I know when this is nearing the end.
  20. 20.
    Instructor is telling a story about a 97-year-old woman who practices every day. I think he is making it up.
  21. 21.
    Or maybe not. If I end up doing hot yoga for real, it will NOT be for the cultish inducement.
  22. 22.
    Remember to breathe.
  23. 23.
    Is feeling feverish normal? Instructor only said first-timer should stop if they feel dizzy.
  24. 24.
    I am not dizzy.
  25. 25.
    I stopped sweating. Maybe because I stopped trying.
  26. 26.
    Breathe.
  27. 27.
    I can't do anything anymore.
  28. 28.
    Don't make me.
  29. 29.
    I suffer, therefore I am.